I felt like I was drowning
In the depth of your shame
In the depth of your guilt
In the depth of your lies

For so many years, I kept quiet
I silently kept your secrets, never questioning,
never asking why, what happened?

I felt like I was drowning
Deep in the ocean
There was no joy, no hope, no truth
Constrained by heaviness, the coldness was harsh
And I was scared, lost and worn down

But even in the immense darkness of the ocean,
You can see the undulating, small fragments of light
And sometimes that little light guides you
Through the darkest of times
It guides you to the surface of the water
Which is so clear, so expansive as you emerge
The world becomes bright, clear and beautiful
When you can breathe, when you can feel
The joy, the hope, the truth


k.d.e. was born in Newport, Oregon and raised in the Willamette Valley. She spends her weekends in Netarts.